Check this box

I was reading a friends blog just now that got me to thinking...Jenn was talking about how when you are at the doctor filling out paper work they ask you: Single, Married, Divorced or Widowed on the form. What effing difference does it make?! This never matters if your single or married but if you're divorced or widowed it just pours some salt into the wound and reminds of you of how awesome you're feeling about everything. I've gotten to the point that I don't even check the box because I'm so pissed off at it. Checking the divorced box just makes me feel like a failure and checking the single box feels like a lie.
I feel very alone when I start to think about being "divorced". I don't have any friends that are divorced and it makes me feel like an outcast. I just want a friend to talk to that really knows what I'm feeling. Not that I wish this on any of my friends but if one could just fall from the sky that would be great ;-) I really do feel like I did something wrong. That I made a wrong turn somewhere. It doesn't help that I am constantly reminded of that wrong turn on a daily basis. The radio, magazines, TV, the Internet all serve to haunt me. I've often thought of retreating to escape it all but I would have to live under a rock!! That friend that I need to fall from the sky needs to have been married to a semi-celebrity too ;-) That seems to be the one thing that people really cannot relate to. Seeing your ex on TV while eating dinner or hearing him on the radio while having your blood drawn at the doctor is not something most people experience. It's very weird and bothersome.
Ahhhh life...isn't it fun!!! It actual can be when I get away from the crap swimming around in my head!! Let's get back to this vacation!!!